Leaving Home

My dear mother,

What is it that you want from me?

I’m sorry I’m not the daughter

You wanted me to be

My dear father,

It’s me your own blood now you hate

For you believe that I bring shame

To our family’s good name

But what is that I’ve done?

A mount of joy is what I felt

When I left home for school

Shame is that I never knew it than

I’m leaving it for good

And when I saw myself released

From your almighty grip

I started noticing the world

For what it truly is

Out there I was all alone

To choose from wrong and right

There it was finally no one

To teach me how to fight

And then I felt that I could fly

Discovering new facts

The heavy veil of ignorance

Has lifted from my eyes

Right there, before my very eyes

The world began to grow

I stood and watched, and felt amazed

How little did I know

So many things I soon found out

My eyes were open wide

Asking myself that all this time

Where in the world was I?

Yes, the school I went to, far away

Start opening new doors

Forced me to search inside my mind

But that’s what school is for

No, not only things you learn inside

Are what’s important now

Most precious knowledge is yet about

What you can see around

As child growing in your little home

The Earth was really small

Seeing the world just through your eyes

My life was uniform  

And then I left!

One day I had to pack my bag

And leave your home behind

One day I had to hit the road

And find my path in life

Only a thick bible of pure advices

I took with me from home

Priceless in guiding my first steps

Protect me when alone

I didn’t know much when I left

The world seemed smaller then

But soon a river of new intakes

Was streaming in my brain

So much I didn’t understand

So much is that I feared

For what I saw with my own eyes

Was different, even weird

But as the fear began to fade

I let the knowledge through

And soon I notice what I knew

Was not the only truth

No, the world was bigger than I thought

And way much more diverse

“Thanks Lord we are not all the same”

I often heard me praise

Since if we were all the same

This world would be a bore

The mankind would’ve been motionless

Not able to evolve

And then I’ve changed!

No, it’s not my soul that I have changed

Or the love I feel for you

For giving me life and care for years

Your place in my heart’s assured

No, it’s not your love that I resent

But the freedom you don’t give

You say I can follow my own dreams

But it’s not how it now feels

I went away and learned a lot

For me the world is changed

There are more colors in it now

And not just shades of gray

I feel like being more mature

No more a frighten child

I lastly know what I want now

My dreams are growing wild

But now you hate me!

Now you hate what I’ve become

My guts to tell you NO

You hate that now I speak my mind

Not doing what I’m told

Now you hate what I have learned

The new things that I’ve seen

You hate me now that as your girl

I dare defy your will

And you tell me I became worse

My mind’s corrupted now

You call me selfish and regret

For having me as child

But that’s your choice! …

And now it’s time for me to leave

Your world and home for good

To cut these roots that hold me tight

To say goodbye to you

It’s time to hit the road again

To stand up for myself

And make me a future not for your

But in my own good name

No, I don’t fear I’ll lose myself

And end up all alone

For I discovered who I am

And what I need for home

It’s not the place you’re coming from

That makes you who you are

It’s knowing what’s inside of you

And what you want in life

And when I think how much “in debt”

I seem to be to you

I lose perspective on what is

That I can truly do

It’s just your anger and complaints

That’s limiting my mind

I’ll never truly find my path

As long you keep me tied

You choose to hate me, that’s alright

Won’t hold it against you

Won’t be the one to hate you back

For you’re the ones who lose

21.02.2019

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